


Leave Me Where I Am, I'm Only Sleeping

by MeghanAnna



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Roommates, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 01:03:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14557473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeghanAnna/pseuds/MeghanAnna
Summary: Being in love with your best friend is one thing. It’s hard and it hurts almost every single day, but it’s bearable. You can walk away, you can have your space and clear your head. Being in love with your roommate? Well, that’s a whole other story. It hurts all of the time.





	Leave Me Where I Am, I'm Only Sleeping

**Author's Note:**

> bff prompt: Hey! Here is a prompt for you guys: Bellamy falling asleep on Clarke or Clarke on Bellamy + when she/he wakes up the other doesn't want him/her to leave? PLEASE asjajsjfjjansbsjzb thank u

Being in love with your best friend is one thing. It’s hard and it hurts almost every single day, but it’s bearable. You can walk away, you can have your space and clear your head. 

Being in love with your roommate? Well, that’s a whole other story. It hurts  _ all of the time _ . There’s a constant ache in your gut—and your heart—that starts the second he wakes up. Then, he walks into the living room—hair a mess, eyes still sleepy, voice still rough. That ache lasts until one of you gets off of the couch at the end of the day and says goodnight. 

Tonight, Bellamy is the one that says goodnight first, pulling a blanket over his shoulders and wearing it like a cape down the hall. Clarke waits until she hears his bedroom door click shut to fall onto her side on the couch and lets out a low moan. 

Sundays are usually the hardest days for Clarke. She and Bellamy spend all day together. They go grocery shopping, they clean the apartment, they eat all three meals together, and they watch at least one movie together before calling it a day. They’ve only been roommates for two months, but they’re already committed to this routine and Clarke won’t be the one to break it. 

She’s glad they’re living together. She was alone for almost a year after she and Lexa broke up and her apartment felt too big and empty. She hated it. When Miller moved in with Monty, Clarke jumped at the chance to ask Bellamy to move in with her. She wasn’t even thinking about the crush she had on him—she just wanted a roommate again. 

And, at the time, that’s what it was. Just a crush, nothing serious. She saw him and got butterflies, he touched her and she swooned. She went home and it was over, done with. But now, there’s no refuge. He’s always there, touching her casually, making her laugh with unwarranted dad jokes, cooking her dinner “just because.” It’s some kind of sick torture. It only took a couple of weeks for her to realize her crush was no longer small and manageable. 

She was in love with Bellamy. 

She’s probably always been a little in love with him. At least, after they stopped screaming at each other and fighting just to fight. Once they became friends, it didn’t take long for them to become  _ best  _ friends—the kind of friends who always found excuses to hang out, who talked to each other about their problems and their lives. He’s the person Clarke wants to talk to about most things—pretty much everything,  _ except  _ for her feelings for him. 

Plus, her first instinct has always been to hate whoever he’s dated and it seems it was his first instinct, too, when it comes to the people Clarke has dated. They’re protective of each other and wary of others. Clarke still hates most of his exes, all except Gina, who Bellamy is still good friends with. Bellamy definitely still hates Finn and Lexa. He doesn’t hate Niylah, but they’re not friends. She’s not sure what it means that Bellamy hates her exes, but she now knows why she’s hated all his. 

Clarke doesn’t want to be in love with Bellamy. He’s too important to her. Their lives are too entwined. She knows they’d be good together—they’re basically in a relationship, as it is, just  _ without _ the benefits. The two of them together make a lot of sense. She thinks that might be why it’s so hard for her. 

Bellamy has never been afraid to divulge his feelings to her about  _ anything _ . He’s the most upfront person she knows. He’ll tell anyone the truth about anything, so she has to believe he doesn’t feel the same way about her as she does about him. He would have told someone. And their friends can’t keep secrets to save their lives—someone would have told her. 

No one’s told her. Most importantly,  _ Bellamy _ hasn’t told her. So she just has to deal with her feelings on her own. They’re either going to go away, or she’s going to die loving Bellamy Blake and doing nothing about it. And that hurts most of all. Clarke’s never been the person to sit idly by and let life pass her by. She’s never been afraid to  _ go for it _ —whatever  _ it  _ may be. 

But she can’t lose Bellamy. 

It’s the last thought she has before peeling herself off the couch and going to her room. As she passes Bellamy’s, she hears his low laugh behind the door. It stops abruptly, though, when Clarke steps on the creaky floorboard just past his door. 

“Wait,” he calls out and she turns slowly—unsure—toward his door again. “Come in here.”

Clarke pushes his door open as casually as she can muster. It’s not weird for him to call her into his room. He’s surprisingly lazy as soon as he’s in bed. It just seems like  _ a lot _ at this particular moment—with everything running through her mind. 

“What’s up?” she asks and he smiles at her. She knows that smile. She knows all of his smiles. He wants something from her. “Bellamy, what?” she can’t help the laugh that comes with the question. He can be so childish sometimes.

“I totally forgot it was a long weekend,” he tells her and she nods, just remembering herself. She doesn’t typically work on Mondays, so it’s no different for her, but he does. “I feel kind of lame going to bed at 10:30 when I don’t need to get up and go to work tomorrow.”

“Please,” she huffs, “You’re an old man no matter what time you go to bed.”

“Shut up,” he laughs. When he moves closer to one side of his bed and nods at Clarke to sit on the other, she feels a tiny thrill up her spine. “Want to watch  _ Schitt’s Creek _ with me? We were about to start season 3 last time.”

She considers his offer—knows it’s best to just go to her own room and get away from him. He gives her that smile again, like he really wants her to say yes. She chalks it up to how much he’s loving the show—it has nothing to do with her. They just have an agreement to watch it together, that’s all. 

“Okay,” she relents and he picks his laptop up from the bed and puts it on his lap. “Only a couple of episodes, though.”

“Promise,” he says and she finally gets into bed next to him. 

_ This  _ is a little weird. They sit on the couch together all the time. Sometimes, when they’re really exhausted, they even cuddle. She’s never been in Bellamy’s bed  _ with  _ him. He’s never been in hers, either. It’s been an unwritten rule since he moved in—at least for her. Bellamy probably hasn’t thought about it at all. 

“What were you laughing at before I came in here if you weren’t watching the show without me?” she asks, nudging him in the ribs and he pushes her arm away. 

“Bloopers,” he admits and it makes her smile. Bellamy  _ loves  _ bloopers—like more than the shows themselves, sometimes. Just another reason she’s in love with him. 

“Good,” she says, nudging him again, just because. She feels that same thrill down her spine when she makes contact. 

Bellamy opens up Netflix on his computer and logs in— _ logs in _ , because it’s been so long since he’s watched it anywhere other than their living room, usually sitting right next to Clarke. When he starts the episode, Clarke settles into the pillows she’s resting against and curls ever so slightly toward Bellamy. He moves the computer so it sits on both of their laps and leaves his hand resting on Clarke’s thigh. She doesn’t move again, but she does smile against his shoulder quickly. 

\--

When Clarke wakes up, she’s more than a little confused. She’s not in her bed, but she’s in  _ someone’s  _ bed. And whoever the bed belong to has their arm strewn around her shoulders and is keeping her pressed against their chest. When she finally opens her eyes and sees the laptop fallen away onto the bed, she immediately notices the blue plaid of Bellamy’s comforter. 

It takes her just a second longer to come to and remember how she ended up here. She remembers two episodes of  _ Schitt’s Creek _ with Bellamy. She remembers feeling tired. She remembers the warmth of Bellamy’s body as she fell asleep. 

He’s still out cold, but his grip on her shoulders is pretty tight. Before she tries wriggling away, she closes his laptop and pushes it out of her way. The last thing she needs is it toppling to the floor and waking him up. She’d like to avoid having this conversation—regardless of how good it feels to be there with him. 

With a deep breath, she slowly slides out of Bellamy’s grasp and sits on the edge of his bed. Before she stands, she feels Bellamy sit up and she can’t help but turn to look at him—a magnetic pull. 

“Don’t go,” he says, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. Clarke swallows and looks frantically around his room, avoiding his eyes because she has no idea what to say. “I mean,” he sighs, wiping the hair out of his face. “You don’t have to go.”

“Bellamy,” she whispers and he smirks just slightly at her. She’s not sure why she’s whispering. The dark and the circumstance just makes it feel necessary. 

“Clarke,” he counters, only pretending to be serious and she realizes he’s more awake than she originally thought. He knows exactly what he’s asking her. “Stay.”

She hesitates and then his foot taps her thigh from under the covers and she relents. “Fine,” she tells him, moving back up the bed to lie next to him. When he opens his arms, she curls into his side. “Why?” she asks him, still whispering. 

“I don’t know,” he whispers back. “Why not?”

“I think you know,” she says and he laughs into the top of her head. “Don’t laugh at me!” Clarke slaps his chest and he grabs her hand with his free one, holding it there.

“I’m not laughing at you,” he says slowly. “I’m just laughing. How can I not be laughing right now?”

“What are you talking about?” 

“ _ This _ . You. Me.”

“It’s too late for this,” Clarke whines, burying her face into his chest, and Bellamy laughs again, making her laugh in turn. “You’re right. I can’t not laugh at this.”

“We’ll talk about it in the morning, though.”

“Will we?” She wants to believe him, because she wants to know what all of  _ this  _ means to him. She wants to know if it means to him what it means to her. But she’s not sure it’ll happen—she won’t be the one to bring it up. If Bellamy wakes up and decides to pretend that everything is normal, then it will be and Clarke will be in an even worse position than she was when she fell asleep in his bed. 

“Yes,” he says, pressing a quick kiss to the crown of her head. “Sleep.”

\--

The next time Clarke wakes up, there’s sunlight streaming through the curtains and even though she’s turned away from him, she knows Bellamy is still there. When she looks over her shoulder, she sees that he’s awake on his back, holding his phone over his face—waiting for her. 

“Morning,” she says and then clears the sleep out of her throat. Bellamy quickly locks his phone and drops it on the bed between them.

“Hi.” He sounds sheepish and it’s adorable—like everything he does. Clarke turns onto her back, too, and they lay there in silence for a minute. 

“So, last night,” she starts and Bellamy laughs again, turning on his side to look at her. When she rolls her eyes he smiles down at her. 

“I’m going to kiss you,” he tells her and waits until she swallows and nods before licking his lips and pressing them against hers. Even though he warned her, she’s still in shock and it takes her a second to lean up and kiss him back. It’s all very surreal, but when he pulls back, she can’t stop a smile from spreading across her face. 

“Is there something you want to tell me?” she asks him, pushing herself to sit up and he does the same. 

“I think I’m falling in love with you,” he says bluntly. “Or I  _ am  _ in love with you. I’ve never really been in love, so it’s hard to tell where I am in the process.”

Clarke rests her head on his shoulder and smiles again. Bellamy’s not much of a rambler. He’s never at a loss for words. He knows exactly what to say in almost any situation. The fact that he’s freaking out about this just makes Clarke love him even more. 

“I’m in love with you,” she says. It’s only fair to let him off the hook—and to be honest. “I had a thing for you before you moved in and then you moved in and I realized  _ very  _ quickly I was full-on in love with you. It’s pretty much been killing me slowly, day after day.”

“I only just realized a few days ago,” he admits. “I think that I didn’t know it was happening because it just feels so normal for us. Like, this is how it should always be.”

“It’s how I want it to be,” she says and he nods. When he leans into kiss her again, she puts a hand on his chest and pulls back. “After we brush our teeth.”

“That’s fair.”

They get out of bed and go into the bathroom together to brush their teeth, something they’ve done only twice before—when they were both running late for work. At the time, they were fighting for space in front of the sink, but now there’s no rush and they don’t mind standing too close to each other.

Bellamy put his toothbrush into the holder first, but waits—watching Clarke—for her to finish up herself. As soon as she puts her toothbrush down, his hands are on her cheeks and she leans in to kiss him. Now that they know where the other stands, it’s a much better kiss. They keep tugging each other closer, chasing kiss after kiss. It’s as great as she’s always imagined—even if they are kissing right next to the toilet.  

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Come find me on [Tumblr](http://bellamyfrecklefaceblake.tumblr.com)!


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